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CHECK OUT HOW TO AVOID CRUSHING YOUR CRUSH

When we were young, we behaved a certain way. We most often perceived life as to having only one dimension to it, but as we grow and experience life, we start realising that there is always another side to a coin. This makes us start seeing things in other perspectives. Now, we act differently, act maturely and process faster. 

In reference to the experience I shared with you last week, “I think I crushed my crush, I made a promised to offer some solutions. With that in mind, here are some practical, experimented ways to avoid crushing your crush.

THE “DON’TS”

1. Don’t ignore the issue: 

wp-image-1109367770It is out in the open already, so try and discuss it and immediately trash it out. Pretending you didn’t hear it or switching topics is not the best way to escape from the situation at hand.

2. Don’t pity: 

wp-image--1421831034The part where you decide to pity your crush and withhold your true emotions of not really feeling anything for him/her will only hurt both parties at the end. Don’t be ashamed of letting out your own true feelings.

3. Don’t beat around the bush: 

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Tell him/her the honest truth of your feelings, but politely and with kindness. Don’t laugh at them or remain speechless for a long period. Try as much as you can to respect their feelings and appreciate the fact that he/she opened up to you, because what he/she unravelled to you wasn’t just a day’s thought. If you have been in a similar situation, you will acknowledge that it takes a great effort, determination and courage for someone to express themselves in such a manner.

4. Don’t give excuses: 

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There is no need of finding an excuse for not wanting him/her. Avoid using words like, “Oh it’s not you, it’s me 👎.”

5. Don’t put them on suspense: 

wp-image--357300206It is a bad thing to be rejected, but it is even worse to be given hope that is non-existent. If you makes it look like you are also interested, and that you needed some time when you are clearly not, you will end up hurting them more than you can imagine.

 

THE “DO’S”

1. Always start with an appreciative words. Example, “Wow, am flattered” or “thanks for letting me know”. Avoid words like, “really, you are?”, or “I can’t believe this”.

2. Make sure you resolve the discussion before anyone leaves. If not, you might as well be kissing your friendship goodbye.

3. Be firm about your decision, there is no room to be confused about the way you feel at that moment. It might come as a shock to you, but get over it quickly.

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4. Try as much as you can to remain calm and speak nicely. On no occasion should you get angry because someone opened up to you about their feelings.

5. Patiently wait it out, it is only suppose to last for five (5) months at most, then resolution comes naturally. As says an adage, “time heals all wounds”.

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AS FOR THE “CRUSH” THAT WAS CRUSHED, BEING UPSET IS NOT THE SOLUTION.

You should know it’s a two way thing, and the answer could either be yes or no. So, prepare your mind before letting the cat out of the bag. I know it hurts a lot if the response is NO, but you don’t want to lose your friend just because you can’t control your emotions.

I hope these will help in a way to deal with situations like this next time.

Lot of Love from your girl

Pic credit: Google image

STORY TIME| I think I crushed my crush

“Let me just say there is no room for pretence here,” was what my friend said as he asked me who was my crush while eating dinner in my living room on a hot🔥 Sunday evening. 

I had a smile on my face as I repositioned myself to think about the question carefully. Not just because no guy had ever asked me that before, but also at that moment I wasn’t expecting those words from him. He was a serious nerdy, bibliophile, and churchy kind of person. 
“Is this a trap?” I asked myself. 

I wasn’t certain, but I knew at that moment I was in dilemma, placed at a corner I couldn’t escape from. It was like being between the devil and the deep blue sea.

I am certain that some of you can correctly guess my facial expressions and my next words at this moment. I was literally in shock and wonderstrucked that I didn’t realize when I started mumbling things like, “ehhh…mmm…my crushhh? hmm… you mean my crushhh? …ehh…Ok…I am not sure I have one.” As I finally started saying something coherent. “But if I give it a thought, maybe one might pop up”. That was all I could come up with. 

I have never seen him laugh so hard like he did that day.

Finally, I regained my composure and confidently said, “none, I had one before but I got over him.”

“Overtime, I stopped giving room for crushes, because I hate the windows of hope shutting down in my face and getting my feelings all up for nothing.” I continued.

“So true,” he replied hastily. 

Now suspicious of him, I silently asked with almost a whispering voice, “do you by any chance have a crush on someone I know?”

“Oh yes, I actually do, but I am not sure she feels the same way and yes, you do know her.” He replied. 

At this point, most of you would probably have gotten the gist, but my innocent self had no clue. Out of curiosity I asked, “Who is she? Maybe I can tell you if she does.” Hahaha, I can’t believe myself also. 

“It’s you Debby, but don’t freak out.” He muttered.

My jaw dropped, couldn’t even put the morsel of swallow in my wide opened mouth, my hand just got stucked in the air. “Oh no, I don’t feel the same way, what do I do now?” I asked myself yet again.

Trying to prevent anything that would ruin our friendship, I said, “don’t worry about it, we are still friends, let’s just talk about something more interesting.”

From his facial expressions, I realized I might just have rekindled the blazing inferno.

“So, you don’t care about my emotions at all even to at least discuss it? Wow, for one second I thought maybe you might feel the same way if you knew. You can at least pretend you care. I am leaving, thanks for the dinner.” He said as he packed his plates and moved towards the kitchen. 

Still confused about the whole scenario going on, I dropped my morsel back into my plate and rushed after him. 

“I am sincerely sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, it’s just that I don’t feel the same way. We are just friends and I would like it to remain same. I didn’t want to break your heart by telling you my true feelings. That’s why I wanted to switch topic.” I explained calmly.

As he approached the front door to exit my house, he said, “Well, either ways my heart still feels like it has just been ripped out of my chest, because I wanted to be more than just a friend.”

I played and replayed the scene over and over again and it still feels like it’s all a dream. Everything happened so fast. How did a nice dinner conversation turn into a chaotic, disastrous goodbyes. 
I think I have crushed my crush. 

To be continued!

Look out for HOW TO AVOID CRUSHING A CRUSH!

If you were in my shoes is there anything you think you would have done differently within a twinkle of an eye?

Lots of Love.

Pic credit; Google images

7 things I learnt as a student living abroad


It wasn’t my first time travelling out of my parent’s vicinity but it just seemed new all over. Leaving my friends and people that had grown to become family behind again, am sure it’s not me alone but it’s always super hard.

came as an international student in 2012 to study medicine at Texila American university, Georgetown, Guyana after my studies in the Philippines.

When I got here, it was not exactly what I had thought it would be but I guess part of being an adult is adapting and trying to make things work. A lot needed to change and all responsibility was on me now, every decision I make counts. 

Let me tip you in on some of the things I learnt that might be useful 

1. You call the shots now: It’s absolute freedom! No one is supervising or instructing you. You are so on your own especially with issues that needs immediate attention. Parents and friends could chip in occasionally but the decision making are all you now, so make the right ones. 

2. Try comfortable but affordable: I would not advice you to go cheap on things that can bring you comfort especially if you are staying more than a year but don’t over do it, get necessities only and be wise about your spending. Go for things that would make studying and living conducive for you to attain excellence. Like I tell my friends, the outside world might be chaotic but as long as my home makes me smile as I step in, I will be fine.

3. Make friends not enemies: You are in a new country to study, I get it, also try to mingle with people in it and experience their culture and the jaw dropping wonders it brings. You can also build amazing relationships and network from there. 

4. Communicate with your people often: Technology has made things much more easier, so make use of it. If you can’t call, drop a message, check up on them. It will ease their worries and also keep you calm to focus. My rule, “If you miss them, beep them”.

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5. Move around: I had a triangular movement for a while in Philippines. It went like this; home→church→home→school→home. Few weeks before leaving the country I started exploring and I realized I had not seen enough of the country but it was time to pack my bags and say goodbye. I didn’t make the same mistake in Guyana, I take any chances I got to travel around. Go out and see the interesting places in the country, 

6. Learn the language: I wish someone had informed me earlier about this I would have saved a lot of money. Immediately I speak, the prices of items automatically increases because it is so obvious I am a foreigner. It might seem irrelevant but if you are staying more than a year I advice you should, especially for shopping and communication sake, learn the basics.

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7. Take your studies seriously: if you succeed, it’s all for you. I am not saying don’t have a time out but don’t place the wrong things as priority. Study hard, participate in class, ask questions, submit assignments on time, show up for class and so on, am sure you got the point already. 

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I know it’s tough to be a student in a foreign land at the beginning, as time goes on you will get used to it. I hope this was insightful enough to help someone..

Lots of Love




2months+ blogging, 200+ followers

Today is a free pen down, I am still shocked, 200followers in 2months! These are real people right? Haha, I know they are real. It might be small to some but to me it alot of people. Before we continue let’s do the happy dance.

I didn’t post anything for 100 followers and I don’t want to seem ungrateful to all that took effort and time to check up, liked, commented, shared and reblogged my posts. I really appreciate you all and I want to say a big thank you for the love and support, you are in my ventricles and I care about you all!

When I started this blog I didn’t know what to expect but I knew I wanted to write and be disciplined about it. I wanted a place that will give me the chance to speak loud with my words, a channel to inspire people not to give up no matter what life throws at them but to FIGHT, STAY STRONG, BE POSITIVE, ENVISION GREATNESS AND SOAR HIGH.

I am glad so far I have been able to achieve that and still intend on doing better. Since I joined this community, I have met great and amazing people, fascinating and inspiring writers, persons I connected with and now call friends. I read alot of article sometimes I get over saturated, I was reviewed and have also reviewed people. In short, the journey so far has been great!

Dropping a message before I round off. Start it now! What are you waiting on? Trust me there is never a good time to do it, don’t wait anymore for the perfect moment because that time might never come. Begin small and before you know it, you are running a big enterprise, empire, business or a community as for WordPress.

Thank you all for putting a smile on my face! From your girl omobim1. Love you all!

Pic: Google image

VERSATILE BLOGGER AWARD| 7 random facts about me

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I am thrilled to say that I’ve been nominated recently a while ago for my first blogger award by Deshi Nenkinan Nehemiah, the amazing, motivating, inspiring writer. His posts are “go to” for me because they always have a message I need or one I resulnate with, I mean each time, especially his poems. Thank you for nominating me for this award. Do check him out!

rules of the Versatile Blogger Award-

  1. Thank the bloggers who nominated you and share their links.
  2. Nominate at least 10 bloggers for the award and provide links to their blogs. Also, inform them about the nomination.
  3. Reveal 7 facts about yourself that your readers may not know.

        7 RANDOM FACTS ABOUT ME


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1. My name is “born of wealth“. Oh don’t be confused yet, it’s just the meaning of ABIMBOLA my first name. To ease the pain of pronouncing it, just call me DEBBY from my middle name DEBORAH.Screenshot_2017-05-20-09-04-54_1_12. I am the THIRD of Seven children, a male and female precedes me. I like my position so much because it’s stress free. I guess that’s why people do think I am the last born.

3. I am 5ft9″ TALL and I WEIGH 56kg if rearranged from the back. Some days I eat more some days I eat less. I’m always at war with my weight but it’s not an issue.

Screenshot_2017-05-20-08-53-21_14I am a CHRISTIAN and I put God first in everything that has to do with me. Without Him, there is no me.Screenshot_2017-05-20-08-57-25_15. Everyday is my birthday so keep the gifts coming but if you are still curious I was born on the 16th of APRIL. We are the unique ones.

6. The 3 most IMPORTANT DAYS in my life are; the day I came to this earth, the day I will be bond to my other half and the day that I will leave this earth, the other days in between are a gift.Screenshot_2017-05-20-08-44-37_17. For an INTROVERTED PERSON, I make friends too easily but am still figuring out one day at a time how to keep them because sometimes it becomes really overwhelming for me and I literally can’t breathe.

This are few things that makes me ME

Blogs I highly recommend and further nominate for this award are:

Was there any of the listed above that was shocking? Do we have anything in common? Let me know..

Lots of Love from

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DIARY OF AN INTERN #2| thank you mama


Image-9580_1It was my turn to rotate in Labour room this week, I moved up and down attending to patients of different ages, colors, races and shapes, they all had one thing in common as they were brought into the room, PAIN. They were either weeping or screaming, and couple of minutes or hours later, pastering around, rolling on the bed or squatting to push out the baby.

I was also moved to the birthing room where the real deal (babies delivery) takes place. The first few hours was somewhat terrifying and so emotional for me just like it was while rotating as a student. 

As I stood there assisting, I wondered and kept asking myself, “how will this big head come through this small hole?” Though I knew the answer, it still didn’t stop me from asking the question over and over again till the delivery was done on each patient. 

Following my emotional meltdown is the part that brings the greatest joy to my heart and smile on my face, the sight of the baby and then the cry. The mother can finally breath fine again!

The pain, the push, the cry, the scream, all these my mama had to go through several times again. She had the option of abortion at her discretion but she chose to have all of us (7 in total). She endured it all and still stood by us as we grew. 

“Motherhood is tough 24 hour job, no pay, no day off, sometimes it is unappreciated, but yet resignation is impossible. A mother is a woman who was created by God to bring love, joy, happiness and caring into his world. You did all this and made sure our family keeps going.” Motherhood poetry.

Firsthand, I see what you had to go through Mama. You put up with so much and still loves us the same. Words cannot describe fully how special you are to me, I know daddy will become jealous but you are my first love too. I want to use this opportunity to say THANK YOU MAMA KE, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!

Proverbs 31vs10 says, “Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.”

I am celebrating my two mothers 

My sis during pregnancy
My sis and her baby

To my two lovely mommies, looking young and fresh, always turning 20 every year.. I love you, I miss you and I can’t wait to step into your shoes and be a wonderful mom too just like you have been to me always.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO MY MIMSY, SISTY AND TO ALL THE WONDERFUL MOTHERS OUT THERE! 

To appreciate your mama:

*Give her a “thank you kiss” for keeping your pregnancy whether it was planned or not.

*If you cannot get to her like me, message her, tell her how much you love her and how grateful you are.

 Xoxo




DIARY OF AN INTERN #1| first week was a blast


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Hi! I hope everyone had a blast like I did this week? Bringing you up to speed, remember in my post, DO IT YOURSELF|a circle skirt, I told you guys I was waiting for internship. Finally, I got a slot at Georgetown Public Hospital Corporation (GPHC). Orientation took place last week and sections began this week.

My first rotation is in Obstetrics and Gynecology Department. So far, it’s been great. I will be on night shift for four weeks and the whole rotation is three months.

My first day as an intern would forever be remembered because I was at the hospital for 25hrs with no change of clothing, food, beddings or comfortable shoes to wear (I was on high-heeled shoes throughout). It happened this way because I wasn’t earlier informed I would be ON CALL that day and I couldn’t go back home but favour located me. Before the day ended, amazing Doctors provided me with everything I needed to be comfortable. Though I had to wear a scrub twice my size, it was perfect considering the situation.

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That scrub would conveniently fit a person thrice my size, had to tie the top by the side and wrapped the rope of the pant around my waist.

I enjoyed working with everyone (interns, Nurse, GMOs, Residents, and Consultant). They were super helpful, accommodating and considerate. Contrary to what I heard and believed, it was a great week for me. I am excited to go in next week and I also believe strongly that it will continue this way.  

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Fully alert me @ 5.00pm
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Drowsy me @ 5.00am

Now, the part that was not enjoyable for me was having to stay awake when I am ON-CALLS. Attending to patients in the early hours of the morning, sleepwalking through the rounds and waiting to attend to the last patient so I can hurry home to catch some sleep before the next shift. I love my sleep, my bed and the comfort of my room. Does that make me sound lazy? Maybe, but it’s just the truth.

So far, I have learnt to hold on and not give up so quickly. Knowing that God is working His miracles out, I just need to believe and be patient. The internship approval is a great example. There were many obstacles but I did the only thing I knew how to do best when it gets so tough; believe and trust God to make it happen and I started to ENVISION IT as well. After 5months, the phone finally rang and here I am!

Would love to know what you did this week that was fun/a blast or not so enjoyable?

Hugs and Love sent to you from my sofa!

2 Legs in ADULTHOOD

Being an adult is not a easy task at all, it comes with so many responsibilities. Graduating for me now was an open eye to reality.

Though I became independent very early in my life, I still didn’t have to worry about making certain decisions for a very long time, it’s either uncle got it, dad and mum has it under control or somebody somewhere is taking care of things.

This has nothing to do with being brought up with silver spoon in my mouth because trust me it wasn’t 100% so. It was just the settlement feeling that I don’t have to worry about all of this yet.

Now that I have to handle everything and I mean everything by myself, look for job, get the bills paid for, get some cash into that pocket of mine to put food on the table and still be able to keep myself sane. That’s ADULTHOOD.

Not that I got abandoned by my family because I graduated, NOPE, that’s not the case at all. It’s just me trying to show that they haven’t wasted time, effort and money by training me and that I am a daughter they can be proud of.

I have to let them know that I am all grown up now and am responsible enough to absolutely take care of myself. This so far has been going well and has given me the opportunity to know and understand myself better. I have developed a greater confidence in myself going through interviews, meeting people, participating and exploring things I never imagined I would be good at, pursuing patience through each corner, forgiveness from every angle and finally increasing my kindness and giving status.

I also realized that what doesn’t kill me will only make me stronger and that I can do anything I set my mind on, Philippians 4 vs 13 says  I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

I am ready to face all the new and exciting things life is bringing towards me one day at a time..

What is it that brought you to total light of ADULTHOOD? Graduating?

Lots of Love

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1st Picture from Google images

Let’s dialog #1| You love him, should you lower your standards?

Hello WP fam! It’s weekend again!! I decided to make this week conversational based on the discussion I had with a friend of mine with 100% permission from her. I would be revealing people’s views, my own and would like to know what you also think.

While talking about relationships, one of my friends said and I quote, “I feel choked already, I have given him everything, changed all I could, I can’t even recognize myself anymore, I am becoming “miss nobody” for him, yet he still feels intimidated by me, sometimes bringing up unnecessary issues and turning it to a fights, I love him so much but what else does he want from me? What should I do? If it was you what would you have done?” as she turned to me for response.

Honestly, my first thought was, “what kind of a man would want you to lower your standards because of him?” I can’t remember exactly my words to her but my main point was that I can’t be with a man that expects me to lessen myself to elevate his ego or for him to feel comfortable enough with me.

It is normal for everyone to set a particular standards for themselves when it comes to any area of their lives including relationships just to put our search on a more focused and narrowed level rather than anything that comes our way and it must have taken time, effort and years to put together or reach that point.

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Excluding those that set unrealistic standards for themselves, settling for what is lower than your standards is basically saying goodbyes to your happiness in some way and you stand a chance of remaining miserable and will be choked at some point in that relationship.

Here are views from my Facebook fam

 

 

 

 

 

 

Check for more comments https://m.facebook.com/abimbola.debbybaby?lst=100000488548428:100000488548428:1492521692&pn_ref=story&fref=nf&ref=bookmarks

Finally, if you have set a realistic and not movie or vague standards for yourself, put them first and let him meet those standards for your sake because you are so worth it. If he doesn’t want to, take to your heels. When the right guy comes you will be glad you did.

 

Is it true that if you don’t lower your standards, you will not be able to find a man because he will feel intimidated at some points? What’s your take on this? Have you had to lower your standards for someone you love before?

 

Xoxo

Somes Pic from Google images

Dear me, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

​Hello everyone!! Happy Easter! Christ has risen, it so happen to be my birthdate also, I am so special. 

This poem is to my beautiful self. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

twenty something years ago

On this special day

A priceless jewel 

Came into this world


Her first cry brought happiness 

And mama’s pain was forgotten

Her first smile brought joy

And the room lightened up 


She grew in wisdom and knowledge

Understanding the world around her

She was taught everything

In the ways of the Lord


She remains courageous

in the face of dismay

She becomes stronger

In the face of fear


When others sees the worst

She sees the best

For what she believes 

She would stand her ground


She works smart then hard

Always taking the lead

She doesn’t take “No” for an answer

Striving hard to get what she wants


She competes with herself 

To become a better person

She has a strong drive

Which keeps pushing her forward


She loves deeply

even when it hurts

Forgives easily

Holding no grudges


She is the apple of God’s eye

Fearfully and wonderfully made

She is the valve in her family’s heart

Greatly and unconditionally loved


Today is the day 

She marks another year

Yesterday she was born

She is a grown up now

Lot of Love to you all..


1st and 2nd Pictures; Google images