“Let me just say there is no room for pretence here,” was what my friend said as he asked me who was my crush while eating dinner in my living room on a hot🔥 Sunday evening.
I had a smile on my face as I repositioned myself to think about the question carefully. Not just because no guy had ever asked me that before, but also at that moment I wasn’t expecting those words from him. He was a serious nerdy, bibliophile, and churchy kind of person.
“Is this a trap?” I asked myself.
I wasn’t certain, but I knew at that moment I was in dilemma, placed at a corner I couldn’t escape from. It was like being between the devil and the deep blue sea.
I am certain that some of you can correctly guess my facial expressions and my next words at this moment. I was literally in shock and wonderstrucked that I didn’t realize when I started mumbling things like, “ehhh…mmm…my crushhh? hmm… you mean my crushhh? …ehh…Ok…I am not sure I have one.” As I finally started saying something coherent. “But if I give it a thought, maybe one might pop up”. That was all I could come up with.
I have never seen him laugh so hard like he did that day.
“Overtime, I stopped giving room for crushes, because I hate the windows of hope shutting down in my face and getting my feelings all up for nothing.” I continued.
“So true,” he replied hastily.
Now suspicious of him, I silently asked with almost a whispering voice, “do you by any chance have a crush on someone I know?”
“Oh yes, I actually do, but I am not sure she feels the same way and yes, you do know her.” He replied.
At this point, most of you would probably have gotten the gist, but my innocent self had no clue. Out of curiosity I asked, “Who is she? Maybe I can tell you if she does.” Hahaha, I can’t believe myself also.
“It’s you Debby, but don’t freak out.” He muttered.
My jaw dropped, couldn’t even put the morsel of swallow in my wide opened mouth, my hand just got stucked in the air. “Oh no, I don’t feel the same way, what do I do now?” I asked myself yet again.
Trying to prevent anything that would ruin our friendship, I said, “don’t worry about it, we are still friends, let’s just talk about something more interesting.”
From his facial expressions, I realized I might just have rekindled the blazing inferno.
“So, you don’t care about my emotions at all even to at least discuss it? Wow, for one second I thought maybe you might feel the same way if you knew. You can at least pretend you care. I am leaving, thanks for the dinner.” He said as he packed his plates and moved towards the kitchen.
Still confused about the whole scenario going on, I dropped my morsel back into my plate and rushed after him.
“I am sincerely sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, it’s just that I don’t feel the same way. We are just friends and I would like it to remain same. I didn’t want to break your heart by telling you my true feelings. That’s why I wanted to switch topic.” I explained calmly.
As he approached the front door to exit my house, he said, “Well, either ways my heart still feels like it has just been ripped out of my chest, because I wanted to be more than just a friend.”
I played and replayed the scene over and over again and it still feels like it’s all a dream. Everything happened so fast. How did a nice dinner conversation turn into a chaotic, disastrous goodbyes.
I think I have crushed my crush.
To be continued!
Look out for HOW TO AVOID CRUSHING A CRUSH!
If you were in my shoes is there anything you think you would have done differently within a twinkle of an eye?
Lots of Love.
Pic credit; Google images