When we were young, we behaved a certain way. We most often perceived life as to having only one dimension to it, but as we grow and experience life, we start realising that there is always another side to a coin. This makes us start seeing things in other perspectives. Now, we act differently, act maturely and process faster.
In reference to the experience I shared with you last week, “I think I crushed my crush“, I made a promised to offer some solutions. With that in mind, here are some practical, experimented ways to avoid crushing your crush.
1. Don’t ignore the issue:
2. Don’t pity:
The part where you decide to pity your crush and withhold your true emotions of not really feeling anything for him/her will only hurt both parties at the end. Don’t be ashamed of letting out your own true feelings.
3. Don’t beat around the bush:
Tell him/her the honest truth of your feelings, but politely and with kindness. Don’t laugh at them or remain speechless for a long period. Try as much as you can to respect their feelings and appreciate the fact that he/she opened up to you, because what he/she unravelled to you wasn’t just a day’s thought. If you have been in a similar situation, you will acknowledge that it takes a great effort, determination and courage for someone to express themselves in such a manner.
4. Don’t give excuses:
There is no need of finding an excuse for not wanting him/her. Avoid using words like, “Oh it’s not you, it’s me 👎.”
5. Don’t put them on suspense:
It is a bad thing to be rejected, but it is even worse to be given hope that is non-existent. If you makes it look like you are also interested, and that you needed some time when you are clearly not, you will end up hurting them more than you can imagine.
1. Always start with an appreciative words. Example, “Wow, am flattered” or “thanks for letting me know”. Avoid words like, “really, you are?”, or “I can’t believe this”.
2. Make sure you resolve the discussion before anyone leaves. If not, you might as well be kissing your friendship goodbye.
3. Be firm about your decision, there is no room to be confused about the way you feel at that moment. It might come as a shock to you, but get over it quickly.
4. Try as much as you can to remain calm and speak nicely. On no occasion should you get angry because someone opened up to you about their feelings.
5. Patiently wait it out, it is only suppose to last for five (5) months at most, then resolution comes naturally. As says an adage, “time heals all wounds”.
AS FOR THE “CRUSH” THAT WAS CRUSHED, BEING UPSET IS NOT THE SOLUTION.
You should know it’s a two way thing, and the answer could either be yes or no. So, prepare your mind before letting the cat out of the bag. I know it hurts a lot if the response is NO, but you don’t want to lose your friend just because you can’t control your emotions.
I hope these will help in a way to deal with situations like this next time.
Lot of Love from your girl
Pic credit: Google image